Signs of Low Emotional Intelligence
The manager knows their stuff. They deliver results. But something’s not working. How to spot low emotional intelligence in yourself, your managers, and your organisation—and what to do about it.
The manager knows their stuff. They deliver results. But something’s not working.
HR sees the pattern. Feedback conversations go badly. Small issues escalate. Good people leave—and exit interviews point to the same manager. Engagement scores are stuck.
The technical skills are there. The people skills aren’t.
This is what low emotional intelligence looks like in leadership. And it’s more common than most organisations realise.
We’ve collected 52,000+ reflections from leaders working on self-awareness, self-regulation, and empathy across 450+ programs. The patterns are consistent—and recognisable. Here’s how to spot low EI in yourself, your managers, and your organisation.
How Common Is Low Emotional Intelligence?
More common than most people assume—especially in leadership.
The numbers
- Only 36% of people worldwide possess emotional intelligence
- 60% of new managers either underperform or fail within their first two years (Gartner)
That last statistic is telling. Gartner’s research found these managers frequently fail because they were selected for technical skills without the interpersonal abilities needed to lead effectively.
The promotion paradox
Traditional promotion pathways select for technical expertise and IQ while inadvertently screening out emotional intelligence—precisely when EI becomes most critical for organisational impact.
Organisations keep promoting their best individual contributors into management roles, only to discover that technical excellence doesn’t automatically translate into leadership effectiveness.
The gap between perception and reality
A Leadership IQ poll of over 27,000 workers found:
- Only 15% believed their employers were candid about challenges
- Just 23% said their boss responded constructively when concerns were raised
This isn’t about individual leaders failing. It’s about organisational systems that neither identify, develop, nor reward emotional intelligence.
The Four Signs of Low EI in Leaders
Research has identified four primary emotional intelligence deficiencies that cause career derailment and team dysfunction. These manifest in specific, observable behaviours.
1. Lack of self-awareness
What it looks like:
Leaders deficient in self-awareness struggle to recognise their emotional triggers, understand their strengths and weaknesses, or perceive their impact on others.
In practice:
- Avoid social interactions or struggle in them
- Fail to listen actively
- Struggle to convey ideas clearly
- Become defensive when receiving feedback
- View constructive criticism as personal attacks
What leaders say when they start becoming aware:
The results didn’t surprise me. But I feel they would surprise people who know me well.
Everyone thinks I have a lot of patience. Even though I get angry, I don’t show it to people.
I have very different reactions in public than I do in private at home. I can regulate my emotions when at work relatively well, but not so well when I am surrounded by my family.
When we ask leaders to stress-test their self-perceptions with colleagues, the gaps become visible:
Two contacts identified the same issue with one of my weaknesses. They didn’t refute it, but it was perhaps not worded accurately.
A common pattern: leaders who believe they’re managing well because they suppress emotions at work—not realising that suppression isn’t the same as regulation, and that the strain shows up elsewhere.
2. Poor self-regulation
What it looks like:
The inability to manage emotions under pressure. This is the deficit that derails feedback conversations, escalates conflicts, and creates psychologically unsafe environments.
In practice:
- Display frustration or anger during meetings
- Interrupt others and derail discussions
- React impulsively to external stimuli
- Show little interest in team members’ experiences
- Become erratic, unpredictable, and overly reactive under pressure
What leaders say about their own patterns:
I need to be able to slow my mind down when under pressure so that I can make better decisions. I feel that this one weakness alone has hindered my progress for some time now.
A lot of the time I react before I process what’s happening—fight or flight mode—and I tend to go straight to fight mode.
My heart rate may raise, I become grumpy and frustrated. I also start to significantly doubt myself and my decisions.
I have a long fuse but then one little thing will send me over. I’m usually so pent up by this point that I snap.
— Leader on our platform
When we ask leaders to reflect on their emotional regulation assessment results:
I knew what the correct answers were, but responded as I actually would. Results were surprising, I thought I was more in control.
Sometimes my emotions get the better of me. Need to show less frustration when I don’t agree.
They didn’t surprise me at all—I know I need to learn to better control my emotions.
This is what we call moving from Green Brain to Red Brain. When stress triggers the limbic system, the prefrontal cortex—responsible for reasoning, planning, and impulse control—goes partially offline. Leaders become reactive, defensive, unable to think clearly.
In Red Brain, feedback comes out wrong. Conversations escalate. The leader knows they’re not at their best. But in the moment, they can’t access their best.
Read: Achieve Emotional Self-Control →
3. Inadequate relationship management
What it looks like:
Managers with this deficit struggle with communication, leading to misunderstandings and collaboration breakdowns.
In practice:
- Resort to blame-shifting rather than addressing issues directly
- Avoid difficult conversations until they can’t be avoided
- Fail to build strong professional relationships
- Deflect responsibility when conflicts arise
- Assign blame rather than owning mistakes
What leaders say after failed conversations:
I was too forceful with the start of the conversation and it went downhill from there. I was only interested in a solution and not what had happened.
My colleague snapped and took it as a personal attack on her abilities.
It started well, the approach was good, and all of a sudden, my colleague felt like it was attacking him.
These leaders know feedback frameworks. They’ve learned the models. But under pressure—when it actually matters—they can’t execute. Their emotional state hijacks their intentions.
4. Deficient empathy
What it looks like:
Leaders with low empathy dismiss employees’ concerns, fail to provide support, or make decisions without considering others’ perspectives.
In practice:
- Dismiss team members’ stress as baseless
- Make decisions that impact others without consultation
- Jump to solutions without understanding the problem
- Share their own experiences instead of listening
- Create cultures where employees feel undervalued and misunderstood
What leaders discover about their own empathy:
I realized that my approach was more direct than I thought and I used examples to show empathy when this might not be empathetic at all.
I learnt not to relate it back to me and focus on how they are feeling.
I noted that I offer up my anecdotes before acknowledging someone else’s emotions.
I probably jump too quick offering solutions without listening to get the full picture.
This is the empathy trap. Leaders think they’re being empathetic by sharing their own similar experiences. Actually, they’re hijacking the conversation. They think they’re helping by offering solutions. But the other person just needs to be heard.
The Self-Awareness Gap: Why Low-EI Leaders Don’t Know
Leaders with low emotional intelligence often don’t realise it.
Dr. Tasha Eurich’s research, involving 10 separate investigations with nearly 5,000 participants, uncovered a striking disparity:
That means upwards of 80% of people are navigating their professional lives thinking they understand themselves and their impact on others—when in reality they possess limited genuine self-awareness.
Why the gap exists
Eurich’s research established rigorous criteria for self-awareness. To qualify, participants had to:
- Believe they were self-aware (validated assessment)
- Have someone who knew them well agree using the same assessment
- Believe they had increased their self-awareness during their life
- Have their rater agree about this improvement
Most people pass the first criterion. Few pass all four.
The organisational blind spot
Despite its foundational importance:
- 68% of organisations have no formal tools to identify, develop, or leverage emotional intelligence
- Only 42% of organisations offer specific training to cultivate EQ competencies
Self-awareness, unlike IQ, can be systematically developed. But most organisations aren’t even measuring it.
What Low EI Looks Like Day-to-Day
The four deficits compound each other, creating recognisable patterns in daily work life.
When we ask leaders “what drives you wild?”, the answers reveal common triggers:
Someone talking over me / Rudeness towards me—I find it disrespectful and it makes me annoyed. Favouritism—I feel disappointed that I see some people with an advantage. Poor performance—people with poor performance being rewarded. I feel a sense of hopelessness.
People not holding up their end of the bargain/responsibilities. Creating more work for others through ignorance/laziness/complacency.
Bullying behaviour. Negative and destructive communication.
In meetings
- Interrupts others or talks over them
- Becomes visibly frustrated when challenged
- Dismisses ideas without consideration
- Dominates conversation rather than facilitating
- Shows impatience with process or discussion
In feedback conversations
- Delivers feedback when emotionally activated
- Focuses on blame rather than improvement
- Becomes defensive when receiving feedback
- Avoids giving feedback entirely until issues escalate
- Makes it about the relationship rather than the behaviour
Under pressure
- Becomes unpredictable or erratic
- Snaps at team members
- Makes impulsive decisions
- Withdraws or becomes uncommunicative
- Creates anxiety in others through their own stress response
In relationships
- Builds transactional rather than genuine connections
- Struggles to read the room
- Doesn’t notice when others are struggling
- Takes credit, assigns blame
- Creates an environment where people don’t speak up
The compound effect
Individuals with low EI often blame others for mistakes and refuse to admit fault. They struggle with communication, finding it challenging to convey thoughts clearly or understand others’ perspectives. High stress and frustration levels affect performance and relationships, creating environments where people feel overwhelmed and unsupported.
Signs Your Organisation Has an EI Problem
Individual low-EI leaders create organisational symptoms. Here’s what HR typically sees:
Feedback and communication:
- Feedback isn’t happening—or happens badly
- Small issues escalate into major conflicts
- Difficult conversations get avoided until they can’t be
- “By the time it gets to me, it could have been handled so easily earlier”
People and retention:
- High turnover, especially under certain managers
- Exit interviews cite management as the reason for leaving
- Engagement scores stuck or declining
- Teams underperform despite having skilled individuals
Leadership transitions:
- New managers struggling with the people side
- Technical experts promoted but not thriving as leaders
- High-potential employees derailing after promotion
- Leadership development programs that don’t stick
Culture:
- “Culture problems” that persist despite initiatives
- Silos between teams
- Low psychological safety—people don’t speak up
- Reactive rather than proactive problem-solving
Organisations see these symptoms and respond with targeted training: a feedback workshop, a conflict course, a communication skills day.
It doesn’t stick. The same problems return.
Read: Emotional Intelligence for Leaders →
The Cost of Ignoring It
Low emotional intelligence in leadership has measurable financial consequences.
The direct costs
- Each disengaged employee costs 18–34% of their annual salary
- Lost productivity accounts for $3,400–10,000 per disengaged employee annually
- One toxic worker costs a company over $12,000 annually
- Replacing a disengaged employee costs 33% of salary (direct) or 3–4x salary (total cost including knowledge loss)
The team impact
- Teams with high disengagement see 18% lower productivity and 15% lower profitability
- Disengaged employees call in sick 37% more often
- 51% of employees report productivity decline from poor communication
- 41% experience increased stress from communication failures
The contagion effect
Disengaged employees create a ripple effect, pulling down engaged employees and destabilising workplace harmony. Low-EI leaders don’t just damage their own effectiveness—they poison team dynamics, forcing engaged employees to compensate or leave.
The Australian context
APAC regions, including Australia, grapple with significantly higher rates of low work productivity, anxiety, and depression compared to global averages—with work productivity scores of just 47.2 compared to the global average of 58.2 (TELUS Health).
Read: Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace →
What to Do About It
Recognising low emotional intelligence is the first step. Here’s what comes next.
For individuals
1. Get accurate data
The self-awareness gap means your self-perception is probably incomplete. Seek 360-degree feedback. Ask trusted colleagues what they observe. Compare your self-assessment to how others experience you.
Two contacts identified the same issue with one of my weaknesses. They didn’t refute it, but it was perhaps not worded accurately.
2. Identify your triggers
What situations activate your stress response? What patterns do you notice?
Not being heard or feeling left out. Things not being completed as asked. People not taking personal responsibility.
When people don’t follow process. I find it frustrating when decisions are made that impact my staff, but I’m not included in the conversation.
People complaining about something, but do nothing about it. Why waste the energy in constantly complaining if you are going to do nothing to fix it.
3. Build the foundation in sequence
Emotional intelligence develops in order: self-awareness → self-management → empathy → relationship skills. Skipping steps doesn’t work.
Read: How to Improve Emotional Intelligence →
For organisations
1. Measure it
You can’t develop what you don’t measure. Use validated assessments to establish baselines and identify where development is needed.
2. Build it into systems
- Include EI competencies in hiring (only 30% of companies currently do)
- Add EI to promotion criteria
- Make EI part of performance management
- Track engagement by manager, not just by team
3. Choose development that works
One-day workshops don’t change behaviour. Research shows sustained practice over months, cohort-based accountability, and real-world application produce lasting results.
| Format | Best For | Limitation |
|---|---|---|
| One-day workshop | Awareness building | Doesn’t change behaviour |
| Self-paced online | Scalability, cost | 5–15% completion, no accountability |
| Cohort-based + mentoring | Sustained behaviour change | Requires commitment |
4. Start with leaders
Low-EI leadership has a contagion effect. Developing leaders first creates modelling effects that cascade through teams.
The Good News
Unlike IQ, emotional intelligence can be developed.
Meta-analyses confirm training effectiveness, with improvements persisting months after training ends. Leaders who commit to development see real change:
Before:
I react before I process what’s happening—fight or flight mode.
After:
Focusing on one thing at a time helps. Taking a moment between different tasks and walking away from my desk.
Before:
I probably jump too quick offering solutions.
After:
Open-ended questions give someone a chance to speak. It helps to build a bigger picture so you really can walk in someone else’s shoes.
The patterns of low emotional intelligence are recognisable. They’re also changeable—with the right approach.
Program at a Glance
Methodology developed with Monash Business School. Recognised by AACSB’s Innovations That Inspire.
Low emotional intelligence is common, costly, and fixable. The first step is seeing it clearly.
Related Reading
Emotional Intelligence for Leaders — The complete guide →
How to Improve Emotional Intelligence — What the research says works →
Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace — The business case →
Emotional Awareness: The Skill Most Leaders Think They Have →
Achieve Emotional Self-Control →
Sources
1. Gartner. Research on new manager performance.
2. Eurich, T. (2017). Insight: The Surprising Truth About How Others See Us, How We See Ourselves, and Why the Answers Matter More Than We Think. Crown Business.
3. Leadership IQ. Workplace survey of 27,000+ workers.
4. TELUS Health. APAC Workplace Well-being Report.
5. Qualtrics. (2024). Employee Experience Trends: Asia-Pacific & Japan.
6. Goleman, D. (1998). What makes a leader? Harvard Business Review, 76(6), 93–102.
About the author
Ashley Leach is Founder of Leda. Leda’s leadership development methodology was co-developed with Professor Anne Lytle (Monash Business School, Kellogg PhD) and has been recognised by AACSB’s Innovations That Inspire. The platform has supported thousands of emerging leaders across Australia and New Zealand, with completion rates of 88–98% — compared to 3–15% for typical digital learning.
Frequently Asked Questions
The four primary signs are: lack of self-awareness (not recognising your impact on others), poor self-regulation (reacting impulsively under pressure), inadequate relationship management (avoiding difficult conversations, blame-shifting), and deficient empathy (jumping to solutions without listening, dismissing others’ concerns). These often compound each other, creating recognisable patterns in leadership behaviour.
Yes. Unlike IQ, emotional intelligence responds to deliberate practice. Meta-analyses confirm training effectiveness, with improvements persisting months after training ends. The key is sustained development over months (not one-off workshops) following the right sequence: self-awareness first, then self-regulation, then empathy, then application skills like feedback and conflict management.
More common than most organisations assume. Only 36% of people worldwide possess strong emotional intelligence. 60% of new managers either underperform or fail within their first two years (Gartner), often because they were selected for technical skills without the interpersonal abilities needed to lead. The self-awareness gap compounds this: 95% of people believe they’re self-aware, but only 10–15% actually are.
Each disengaged employee costs 18–34% of their annual salary. One toxic worker costs over $12,000 annually. Teams with high disengagement see 18% lower productivity and 15% lower profitability. The contagion effect means low-EI leaders pull down entire teams, forcing engaged employees to compensate or leave.
Look for observable patterns: feedback conversations that go badly, small issues escalating into major conflicts, high turnover under specific managers, engagement scores stuck or declining, and exit interviews citing management. At the individual level, watch for defensiveness when receiving feedback, impulsive reactions under pressure, and conversations where the leader talks more than they listen.